The Diary
by Greyhawk750
Summary: Chandler finds Monica's diary and makes a heart-breaking discovery.


'Chandler, don't forget to pick up the kids after school', his wife reminded as she left for work, and Chandler returned to the dining room, finishing his waffles and coffee. It was 7 years since they left the city for a quieter area of suburbia, and for a while things were really good. But over the past year, something changed.

Chandler couldn't quite put his finger on it, but sometime during the course of the past year, Monica had changed. She had grown cold and distant, almost like she was angry with Chandler for something, and try as he might, she would never explain why she was so upset and moody all the time. They barely spoke to each other any more, and was almost like being in bed with a total stranger.

Chandler put the breakfast dishes away and went to make the bed, and something caught the corner of his eye. On Monica's nightstand there was what appeared to be a diary. He was surprised as she never mentioned it to him, and he didn't even know that she kept a diary.

He went over and looked at it, and picked it up. He was about to open it, when he set it down again. 'I shouldn't read that' he scolded himself for even thinking about invading her privacy.

But then again, perhaps it held some kind of clue as to what happened and why she changed and changed so drastically.

After thinking it over for a few minutes, he slowly picked it up and turned a few pages. It was nothing out of the ordinary, just a collection of her thoughts. But as he was about to set it down, something fell out. He reached down to pick it up and saw it was a picture of her and Richard, and the photo looked rather recent. Was his wife having an affair, he wondered.

He turned a page and saw an entry that read 'It was so great to see Richard again, even if it was just for a few minutes. I love Chandler, but I can't help but wonder what my life would have been like if I said yes to Richard's proposal.

Chandler felt like he was going to be sick, and wanted to just put the diary down and pretend like he never saw it. But something made him continue to read. Another entry read: 'What do you do when your married, and then you find your soul-mate? I really think Richard is the one I should have married'.

The tears came and finally Chandler had read enough and sat the diary back down and waited for Monica. He didn't know if he was going to confront her or just go on pretending, like she had been doing all along.

_I found her diary underneath a tree.  
and started reading about me  
The words she's written took me by surprise  
you'd never read them in her eyes.  
They said that she had found the love she waited for.  
Wouldn't you know it, she wouldn't show it. _

Monica came home, right on time which brought a wave of relief over Chandler. He didn't know what he was going to say, but he knew he had to say something. 'Mon, can we talk for a few minutes' he asked.

_When she confronted with the writing there,  
simply pretended not to care.  
I passed it off as just in keeping with  
her total disconcerting air  
and though she tried to hide  
the love that she denied,  
wouldn't you know it, she wouldn't show it. _

'Do you love Richard', he asked rather bluntly and matter-of-factly.

'What do you mean' Monica asked, and Chandler replied that he found her diary. He apologized for having read it, expecting an outburst from Monica. She shrugged and said 'I married you'.

_And as I go through my life, I will give to her my wife  
all the sweet things that I can find._

'But you didn't answer the question. Do you love him', Chandler repeated.

_I found her diary underneath a tree.  
and started reading about me.  
The words began stick and tears to flow.  
Her meaning now was clear to see.  
The love she'd waited for was someone else not me  
Wouldn't you know it, she wouldn't show it._

Monica fumbled for the words and replied what Chandler already knew. 'Yes. I love him' she said.

'Do you wish you were married to him', Chandler asked, almost wishing he could take the question back.

Monica closed her eyes, as a single tear slid down her face and whispered 'Please don't make me answer that question'.

Chandler dropped his head into his hands and started to cry and said 'I think I just got my answer'.

Monica moved closer to Chandler and said 'I am so sorry and never wanted you to have to find out'. Chandler looked at her and said 'Is this why you've been so upset and angry'

Monica exhaled and said 'Partly... OK, mostly'

Chandler was speechless as Monica continued and said 'But I married you. For better or worse. Richer or poorer. Remember our vow? To me those were more than just words'

'I also said I would do whatever it took to make you happy. Those were more that words for me as well', Chandler replied.

'So what exactly are you saying' Monica asked.

'I love you so much and want you to be happy', Chandler said as he wiped the tears from his eyes. He paused and said 'I'll call Ross and ask for the number of his divorce lawyer'

_And as I go through my life, I will wish for her his wife  
all the sweet things that she can find  
all the sweet things they can find_

The End


End file.
